Today would have been my nephew Ryan’s 31st birthday. He died in a terrible car accident when he was 17 years old. As I celebrate his birth and all of the many gifts he gave me and our family in his short life, I can’t help but think, how would he be handling this COVID-19 pandemic? Would he have children of his own right now, would he be scared, philosophical, reflective?
Going through something as heavy, and potentially scary as this, triggers many feelings and emotions in us. Along with my own personal losses, I have witnessed many more, working as a hospice nurse. I have been thinking so much about those people, who have lost family members, friends, loved ones, last week, last year, 13 years ago…...
What I have found, is that it makes us want to have them near; it makes us think more deeply about them ‘not’ being here, as we go through this life-changing event. It makes us feel more vulnerable in the world, as we “battle” this on our own.
If you are experiencing this:
~Please be kind and patient with yourself, understanding that you may be triggered right now.
~Honor your loved one who is gone, by remembering them, and celebrating them.
~Have a ritual that you do to remember them. Lighting a special candle, eating their favorite foods, making a cake in their memory, planting flowers or a tree in your yard or house.
~Reach out to others that knew them and share your feelings and memories; talk about them.
If you know someone who has lost a loved one:
~Call them and check in on them.
~Write a letter to them. Let them know that you are here, and that you remember.
We are going to all get through this difficult time. It is amazing how many people have come together to help, to support, to love on each other. Let us always remember those that we have lost, and let us always celebrate who they were, and let us always remember the ones left to live, and offer up our heart for them.
Be Well. xo
A Poem I wrote today:
Hope is here
always and forever
Freedom from pain
Freedom from love
Freedom from breath
Freedom from hate
Gracefully coming and going
A dance of life and death
always and forever
It can be found
hidden in a moment of time
A nurturing heart
A thoughtful word
Eyes and heart wide-open
Hope is here.